Campanalaphobia

Noticed a whole spate ofpanicking campanologists lately?

Well, neither have I, but I used to be a bell ringer, in England, and coincidentally have suffered various phobic conditions of panic for many years.

It’s a conspiracy to keep the mathematically inclined impotent.

Ringers are suffering panic attacks, fearing the bells will fall on their heads or they are going to be strangled by the ropes.

You laugh? The usual topic of conversation in the ringers’ chamber is some gruesome account or other of how a careless campanologist met a sticky end.I kid you not.

But wait-what’s this?:

Some have had to stop taking part in what they call "the exercise" after years of ringing and suffer anxiety upon hearing the tolling of a bell or catching sight of a church tower.

A light begins to dawn.

What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is proof of the latest in a long string of dastardly Atheist sub plots to terrorise good Christians away from Church.

There.All sorted out.